a stream.

Here we go, stream of consciousness. Now what I have started I have no idea where this is going to go. What do I really have to say? Or am I singing because I have a song, instead of an answer. I am unsure what that even really means, but I like it. Gregory Colbert is my favorite artist right now, I adore his work more than anything I have seen before. He's up there with Van Gogh and Nick Bantock. He sees the world so beautifully and manages to catch the most holy and angelic moments between people and nature. People and God, I suppose you could say. I find it impossible not to believe in God, though not in the typical sense. I once said God was another word for wonder, and I still believe that. But I also think that God is the name for those small and large forces which keep the world turning. Those small pushes and inklings one feels. God is dust motes in the morning sun, rain drenched greenery, icy snow scapes... and yet, I don't think there is a name for my religion. But it is mine, and that is what matters. The book I am reading is fostering my thoughts on spirituality and the like. The Life of Pi. It also fits in with my math course too. Lord, I never thought letters and numbers could be put into such insane formats. It's comforting though, sitting down and doing math homework. It's like gravity, there is only one way to do it and it will always be that way. Right now, I like that. I was going to write about other circumstances, but it's useless. I need to let go. I just feel so abandoned, that it's hard. The best medicine, I think, would be to finally be able to cut him down and speak my mind. No more writing about it. No more thinking about it. No more talking about it. I am done.