He asked me if I wanted to smoke one, and I said "No thanks."

You know how when you stare out of the car window in a fast moving vehicle on the highway and the landscape is whizzing by except for small snippets your eyes manage to focus on? This visual scenario reminds me much of my life lately. I catch a snatch of something but before I can really take it in, it's gone half a mile behind me. I try to seize my chances but they too only give me a piece. I'm sick of pieces. I want something whole. I want to feel whole, but something is always missing at some point or another. 

Though, maybe wholeness can be compared to perfection, and the most you can ask from perfection is a moment. And I have had perfect moments lately. I walked onto the grass yesterday walking home and felt it exhale a cool breath onto my skin. And the wind swept lightly across my chest leaving a ripple of goose flesh in it's wake. I felt the earth breathe. I lay down in its lungs and it held me for a moment, and I was at peace. It was the cry of a kestrel that broke the silence, but even that, was perfection in itself. 

Living is a strange experience. 

-L